Tag Archives: impermanence

Adios

I just returned from 10 days in Oaxaca where I visited with one of my meditation teacher friends, Linda.

When I met Linda at our Community Dharma Leader training at Spirit Rock in 2005, she was just retiring and moving to Oaxaca. Now she is 84 and has lived in Oaxaca for 18 years.

So when we had our last meal together, I said, “Farewell, dear Linda. I may never see you again in this lifetime.”

I may or may not ever go to Oaxaca again. She used to be based in California, where many of her friends and family are, so New England is seldom in her travel plans. I cannot truthfully say “See you later. Nos vemos.”

I used to depend on seeing Linda at our CDL3 retreats every 18 months, but due to the Heavenly Messengers of aging and illness, our classmates recently decided to “sunset” those get-togethers. As a group, we are either too old or too infirm to travel, so it’s time for those in-person retreats to come to an end. I wasn’t surprised that our in-person retreats expired. For our last retreat, 16 people signed up, but then 9 of them cancelled due to aging or illness or disability.

I may see Linda on a group Zoom call in the future. A dozen of our 85 classmates do get together every month to talk about EcoDharma, but that little Zoom square is not the same as a 2-hour lunch or a 1-hour walk or an unexpected adventure.

The previous time I saw Linda, we stayed in an Airbnb in Boulder to acclimatize for a weekend before going up to the Rocky Mountain Ecodharma Center at 8500’ for what was to be our final CDL3 retreat—a hybrid retreat.

In person, Linda and 3 other classmates and i had the adventure of breaking into our Airbnb because the batteries on the keypad lock on the front door had died, and the host didn’t answer the phone. When you’re in person with a friend, memorable adventures sometimes happen.

Good-bye. Adios to all that.

Another friend recently said that she hates to say good-bye. She just wants to leave, sneak out, get away before good-byes are said. I, on the other hand, like to recognize these sorts of passages.

That’s the reason I held Linda’s hand, looked her in the eyes, and thanked her for her friendship. Just in case I don’t see you again in this lifetime, fare thee well, my friend.

Things Fallen Apart

I am on vacation in Puerto Rico where impermanence is everywhere i look. I feel distressed. Buildings blown to bits by hurricanes–Maria in 2017 and the less powerful, but slow-moving Fiona in 2022. Wrecked theme parks, billboards, and boats. The famous art museum of Ponce closed since the 6.4 earthquake in 2020 centered nearby.

As a cultural WASP, i just want to tidy things up. Yet the spiritual lesson is in letting things be. Look at the destruction. Be comfortable. Or rather, be comfortable with the discomfort of infrastructure working on a thin thread of acceptable.

Within sight of my Airbnb lies two miles (miles!) of dysfunctional oil refineries. Rusted pipes galore. Rusted oil tanks just waiting for the next hurricane to shatter them and blow their sidings out to sea.

I can also see 2 wrecked ships, rusting into the shallow sea in a nearby bay.

Yet, people still go to work. Fishermen fish. Families go to the beach on Sundays.

Things fall apart. And stay fallen apart.

And so will i.

After Praise, the Letdown

Bill at Mere and Gary's Rhapsodies & Fantasies10-16.JPGMy sweetie played a beautiful piano concert Saturday afternoon.The audience applauded. Then, an hour later, it was all over. Ten months of practice, several months of planning for the November concert and for this January concert, the applause–it’s all over.

Sweetie kept reviewing the pieces in his mind, replaying them for himself. This is a form of stress. He kept reviewing the critical comments that a couple of friends made. “The piano was too loud.” This is a form of stress. He wondered why certain friends hadn’t come. This is a form of stress. He congratulated himself on having played a masterful concert. This too is a form of stress, because even though it’s a pleasant memory, that pleasantness comes to an end after a few seconds, and the ending of pleasantness is unpleasant.
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Praise and Blame

My sweetie gave a piano concert yesterday afternoon in our sBill at Mere and Gary's 10-16 (3).JPGmall town. Forty of his friends and acquaintances came to enjoy the short, easily accessible classical music pieces by Debussy, Ravel, and Moussorgsky. He gave a short introduction to each piece, telling the audience what to listen for. They applauded each song with longer applause at the end.
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